Wednesday, 18 April 2018

A long time no read- catch up time





Looking at the last time I had posted anything on here was in February- and oh boi has a lot happened since then and I have a very good reason for not posting much content since.
I thought I'd get typing on here and just catch up with yourselves as I have missed creating blog content. I have always found my platform to be somewhat an escape where I could show another side to myself and get creative.

Though for this particular blog post I just want to be real with you's and just get out there that I am like everyone else and in no way is my life perfect. I to have my struggles, downhills and oh lord do I get tested immensely- but who doesn't right?

The reason for being quiet lately was my mum was diagnosed with breast cancer a month ago and from the day she found the lump in her breast, to her diagnosis and then her operation everything just happened in a whizz. Not much time to think. Not much time to absorb. Not much time for reality to hit home. It just happened. My mum is on her way to recovery now and even though she has a while to go- she's the most amazing and strong woman I know. I'm not just saying this because she's my mother but if I was to encounter half the things she has gone through I don't know where I would be. She's a soldier and no matter what life throws at her she gets up and she fights the battle with all her strength.

So just after my mother went through with Mastectomy, my dad was then admitted into hospital with Sepsis. I have never really shared this part of my life because it was something I was really struggling to deal with. My dad has been battling with Multiple Sclerosis (MS) for 20 years now but in the last 2 years my dad's health had deteriorated immensely to the point he's now paralysed from neck down.  So my dad being admitted into hospital for Sepsis was something that hit us really hard and was quite frightening.

Right now everything is still up in the air and both my parents are trying to recover but being the eldest it has really taken a toll on me and I have been under immense pressure. Emotionally and mentally I haven't had time to sit and think about it and to be quite frank I'd rather not. I have tried my best to keep on going to support my parents and siblings to my best ability. If I am completely and utterly honest with you it's been absolutely shit and f***ing hard. I've near enough had a mental break down, burnt out and just basically lost myself.

I have such an amazing support system around me with such incredible family and friends who have supported us throughout this whole saga- I couldn't thank them enough but all I could do is send my prayers to them. But a question they have asked me regularly is 'How have you stayed so strong through all of this? I don't know how you're doing it?'. And it makes me think you have too, I look at my parents and I think look how strong they are and they're still fighting how could I not? How could I not return this little favour for them and be there to support them. Wouldn't you?

I don't know everyones relationship between their parents but what I do know is life is so short. Just like that, a click of a finger things can flip and before you know it the time you have with your parents will be no time left. My point is if you're reading this and you're sat with your parents or family get the f**k off your phone or laptop and spend some time with your loved ones. Tell them that you love them, that you appreciate every little thing, sacrifice, struggle they have gone through just to bring you into this world and to make you into the person you are. (or maybe after you have read this post then get off your device).
My heart aches every single day I see my dad lying in that bed unable to move, to talk, to be in so much pain and yet we can't really do anything but just to make it as comfortable for him as possible. Every single day I see the pain in his eyes, the man that my dad was, completely taken away from him and only God knows his trial and the reason for his pain. But I have faith that it will all get better and with every hardship comes ease and strength.

What I have taken from my parents most importantly is whatever life hits you with you hit back even harder. You get back up, shake it off and fight twice as hard. To be grateful for the way life tests you and the lessons you learn from it. To be grateful if you have both parents that are still with you, healthy and you can tell them everyday how much you love and appreciate them.

To be grateful that you get another chance every time you get up in the morning to fight your fight and show life your bad ass.

To be grateful for health.






Coat- Holzweiler/ Denim cropped jacket- Dr.Denim/ Hoodie- Dr.Denim/ Trousers- Next/ Boots- Next/ Bag- Next.


In the meantime I have still managed to get some stuff done for Instagram and had the chance to attend the lovely event hosted by Next for their new Arndale store opening. I am lagging behind on some content and I have some amazing stuff coming up so do bare with myself guys. I also can't thank you guys enough for all the love and support you continuously give me! Some of you are so sweet that you check up on me to see how everything is going. What's even more THANK YOU for all the prayers you have given to me and my family, may you all be rewarded in this life and after.

You are all not forgotten and I most certainly will be back with more regular content! Love you all!

Modestmira
xxx

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2 comments

  1. This is such an emotional post, I feel so teary, I think it's really brave what you're doing and how you're handling things, inshallah I pray to Allah that he makes things easier for you and grants your family with shifa and many blessings. X

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    1. Hi Lovely! Thank you so much for taking the time to read but also thank you so much for your kind words and prayers <3 It really means a lot hun! May Allah grant you and your family health and goodness in this life and after. Lot's of love xxxx

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